My good friend at work is dating a guy that is also a coworker and at first I thought this guy was pretty cool.
As it turns out, he’s batshit insane and a horrible human being.
It has come to my attention recently that he had been spreading rumors and information about me and sexual identity (Bi), outing me in order to manipulate the work place into being “against me”. Including outing me to close work friends of mine that I was keeping that part of my life private from out of fear of losing their friendship.
I have already gone through HR, and that employee is currently being investigated, but the more I find out, the worse it gets.
This guy has been threatened by my friendship with his girlfriend, my close friend who I have known longer than him, and without either of our knowledge, he installed a spy app on her phone which gave him access to every text, snap, instagram, Facebook, phone calls, and even what she does online. I know this because she came to me saying her phone was acting up, and me being ex-IT, found the app he installed on her phone.
Recently I just heard from another coworker that he has been telling people of my gay sexual relationships which I do not recall ever telling him. He has also told coworkers about things I have texted her verbatim, so I am starting to think that he may have possibly gathered information about my sex life through text messages to her, without either of us knowing he could read them, and has been telling my other work colleagues.
I know this guy isn’t coming back to the work place, but I feel so crossed that I’m not sure even that’s enough. I want to know if, because he obtained that information illegally, I could file a lawsuit against him as well.
I have felt so violated all this week because of this guy, someone who I thought I was friends with and even defended at times, stabbed me in the back and did this horrible thing to me.
Obviously this is lemmy and I don’t expect there to be any lawyers here, but do you think I may have a case?
This sounds like stalking tbh. Maybe you can report this to the police?
This. People this controlling and with this little regard for other people’s rights and boundaries tend to react extremely poorly to having their control challenged. The most dangerous time in any abusive relationship is when the victim leaves-- and make no mistake, OP, that’s what’s happening to your friend. Escalation to physical violence in these circumstances would not be out of the ordinary.
Please be careful, and make sure your friend has a plan to make sure she’s in a safe place where her soon-to-be-ex can’t get to her before she breaks up with him. And I would strongly recommend you both get a restraining order if that’s something you feel comfortable doing.
I know this may sound paranoid, but it’s always best to err on the side of caution in potentially dangerous situations like these.
I have been someone affected by a situation like this in my childhood. My dear friend was kidnapped and murdered by her mothers controlling ex boyfriend, so this type of situation hits me personally. I have decided I am going to talk to a lawyer and contact the local police. I may also ask my friend if she would like me to file a restraining order for her to get him out of the house if she wishes. But no. With my history, if anything were to happen to her or her son and me knowing I had the chance to possibly stop it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Thank you everyone for all the help and advice. I honestly didn’t have anyone else to go to with this situation.