Please don’t ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  • hoi_polloi@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    13·
    1 year ago

    I just want to say that this post is awesome. Also Military MREs, come in a convenient form factor and had the effect of keeping me well fed and also completely blocked up during whole field exercises.

    • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      3·
      1 year ago

      I swear to god it’s intentional - defending your position is harder to do when squatting over a latrine. Morale (specifically defined as willingness to fight) is also high when you’re pissed off that you can’t poop. “Something’s getting unloaded, one way or another”.

      The chili con carne they give Canadian troops is my jam, though. Kinda want a bunch of those for camping now that I’m thinking about it.

      • Puzzle_Sluts_4Ever@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        1 year ago

        Diarrhea is bad.

        But constipated soldiers who are equally about to burst are just as bad. You want troops who can pop off for ten minutes and then come back. Or go in their pants without being crippled on the ground screaming through the birth of pooptuplets.

        Mostly it is just the nature of very calorie and nutrient dense food to clog folk up.

    • evilsmurf@lemmy.fmhy.mlEnglish
      2·
      1 year ago

      Yeah, I swear they put something in them to back your system up tight. Except for the little gum packs. We were pretty sure those had a laxative to let it all out. Also, fuck jambalaya.