I heard that “who let the dogs out” by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

When I’m dealing with ISP or phone customer service, I always ask for the cancelation department. They are motivated to keep customers so sometimes they’ll throw in a coupon, especially if you treat them like a human.

I have had a “biohazard” call at a local college.

The platen glass is a lot thinner than it looks!

Also, depending on the model of the copier, it will not let you copy money, and if you attempt it too many times, it will literally brick the machine.

Something cool to do is to take your phone and turn on the selfie camera. Lay that on the platen and make a copy to see a trippy pattern.

If you want to screw with someone, lay a single paperclip on the platen and make a bunch of copies of it. Take your copies and shuffle them into the paper tray face up (assuming you’re using an office laser copier) so every once in a while, someone will get a paper clip on their print.

Sometimes your printer won’t print in black and white if a color is out because it uses all of the colors to create a deeper black. Depends on the model though.

And some of them use yellow as a lubricant because yellow toner has a consistency close to water.

Also, please do not copy money or your butt. Trust me.

I grew up as the “IT guy” in small town America.

This guy, and the people here (not you) sound like a lot of people I know. I’d look for a different job and grow your passion somewhere else. It isn’t worth it. You won’t change them, and they’re just going to make you feel like you’re wrong, even though you’re right. It’s like the movie Idiocracy.

I know you’re a stranger, but I get the keys to the apartment in about an hour!!!

I want to tell everyone, but I have nobody to tell. I’m FINALLY going to have a home to go home to.

Secondhand lions, the pursuit of happiness, and the good neighbor (2016)

I’m doing it!

The crysis center already has an apartment for me. They’re going to pay first months rent and deposit, I can even have my cats with me!

Since I left my wife, I’ve been saving sooooo much money. I know how to cook on a budget, the kids aren’t picky, and I’m not wasting my money on door dash!

It’s gonna be a tough journey, but I can do this!

I think I’m on my way to happiness.

I finally left my abusive wife this week. It was really scary, and she keeps sending me threats (to take me for child support and ruin my life) but I was able to get ahold if a crisis center for abused people, thankfully they have support for men. The crisis center is going to help me tackle all the debt she’s put me in and get me into an apartment that will have room for me and my kids!

Yesterday for the first time in 14 years, I was completely free. I just drove around town. I went and got an ice cream cone, and I got a Mexican Pizza from taco bell, and nobody insulted me, put me down, or made me feel worthless. I got a glimpse of me and I really miss that guy. I used to have the nick name smiley because I always walked around with a shit eating grin on my face because I love life and I love my job, but she’s worn away at me lately.

I might be homeless technically, but I have a safe space until I can get on my feet. I get my kids tonight, we’re going to have a pizza party and play Mario Kart together. I think everything is going to be fine soon…

Buy 10 spatulas and get one FREE!!

Kinda off topic, but why do homeless people always seem to have a phethora of bike rims? Like just the rims

I remember when the Xbox 360 came out, I was in high school.

The army brought a Ford Excursion that looked fresh off the Pimp my Ride show, with a huge flat screen that flipped down out of the back, 4 huge subs, and the current football game playing.

You could only play the Xbox if you signed up.

quicksave

I was drunk and couldn’t drive, so my wife took me to get more beer. She asked me to put gas in our vehicle so I did because it was cold out. I noticed the pump behind me had the nozzle sitting on the ground which was hilarious to me. I took a snapchat picture and posted it saying “what a dumbass!” then I went inside to get my beer.

I get back in the truck and I’m having a grand old time showing my wife what the idiot behind us must have done when I hear the “CLUNK”. I was told I turned as white as a ghost. I’d done it. It was my fault.

I went inside, the cashier knew I was drunk (I was being obnoxious). I was profusely apologized and admitted it was all my fault. She went outside with me, explained it didn’t break and that they can reattach it, BUT there’s a charge.

The cashier then said to me “get in your truck and get as far away as possible immediately. I didn’t see you, this didn’t happen, and I don’t know what happened to the camera footage. Have a nice night.”

I hopped in the truck and just told my wife DRIVE. Security came rolling up as we were leaving (by chance).

I saw a video Jamie Hyneman made where he went to a comicon event (I think) and he just simply walked right through. He didn’t stop, but he was friendly and said hi to everyone he came across.

Despite being so famous, he never created a crowd, and he just kept on walking and saying hi.

I’ve applied this to the chatty Kathy’s at my work and it works every time. Just a quick “hey there!” without stopping. It never fails. Every once in a while I’ll stop so I don’t look like a jerk, but it works!

When I was a kid, it was Yosemite.

I was obsessed with GTA San Andreas, and that was the big truck in the game, and it was my favorite. I was pronouncing it like “yosa might” for a while until somebody pointed it out, and then I connected the dots

There’s a certain Sonichu producing person that still does it…

You should watch the Whang! Video on Brian Peppers! It’s actually pretty sad

https://youtu.be/F5tj2eWRuDw?si=K9qns8WC4f7sV5fU

I like how this turned into a pillow post.

Pillow fight?

I never let it stop me. I started working at a print shop, and the huge copier (xerox 1000i) kept jamming. I’m talking huge jams, this thing is about as long as 2 Mazda miatas.

The fuser belt tore on me at like 4 in the morning during an emergency print job, and the technician wouldn’t be there until about noon, so I broke into his parts cabinet and figured out how to replace the belt. I had it up and running about an hour later. The fuser on that machine is about as big as a Brother desktop multifunctional copier.

He did come in, and scolded me for repairing it, but was fascinated I did it (it’s a 2 week training in New York just to work on those).

I ended up bugging all the techs to hire me and eventually, they did! So now I work on photocopiers, and I absolutely love it.