Rakqoi

There is/was a fan made version of this in development! I don’t know the status of it currently, and I heard that development was rocky for a while… and they haven’t posted on the blog since 2020. But take a look anyway!

https://seaofgreed.com/

it is absolutely worth it. It’s so life-changing that it’s worth the struggles to get on a medication. I’m on Adderall, and have tried Focalin and Ritalin but neither worked for me (caused anxiety among other issues), once you find the right medication for you it’ll change your life for the better.

Also for what it’s worth, it might not be as hard as it seems to get diagnosed and get a prescription. I originally went to my family doctor talking about my experience and research into ADHD, and she prescribed a low dose of Adderall that day. The real hassle, at least for me, has been having to remember to call every month to have the doctor refill my prescription, and scheduling and attending appointments every 3 months. There are no auto-refills for stimulants, at least in the US, because it’s so federally regulated. and it’s a medication you’ll be on for life most likely. even so, it’s definitely worth it in my opinion.

I have several hundred hours across the 3 souls games and ER, and I totally get that it’s a well designed mechanic, which is why I love it. and yeah, I know that valuing souls too much is a mental trap that prevents me from enjoying the game, but I just can’t shake it in Elden Ring for some reason, despite doing so more easily in souls games. (though, it especially sucks in DS2 because of soul memory but that’s a whole can of worms)

The souls series is one of my favorite game series of all time, and I would definitely not change the blood stain mechanic whatsoever because I think it’s about perfect. Especially with rings of sacrifice (or the weird twigs) and homeward bones to give you chances to mitigate the penalty when you really think you need to. It’s excellently designed and forces you to improve at the game.

Despite that, it still causes me hesitation and demotivates me from playing the games sometimes. I have to be in a specific mood to want to improve at a game, and I’m in that mood less often as I have more things I need to spend my time on, and usually play games just to relax and have an easier time nowadays. I still love Elden Ring to death and it’s genuinely one of the best games ever made (in my opinion), and yet I have a love/hate relationship with death mechanics in these games.

Here’s one I genuinely love and hate at the same time. In Dark Souls and Elden Ring, you drop your souls/runes (currency) on the spot where you last died, and if you die again before recovering them, they’re lost forever. You get souls and runes by killing enemies and generally progressing, so this leads to some interesting scenarios.

One one hand, it incentivizes you to spend your currency (to minimize risk of losing it) instead of just sitting on it, forcing you to make decisions on how you spend it, and whether to take the risk to save up to get more expensive items or level ups. It also forces you to play very deliberately, since there’s a penalty, but only if you die twice.

But… it makes me scared to progress, because I don’t know what to expect, and I don’t want to risk losing my souls/runes. Unless I have just recently lost everything and I have nothing to lose, I feel pressured to play overly carefully and never take risks and play the game in the most fun way possible, out of fear of loss. And even when I DO die and lose my currency, the freedom to play in risky ways only lasts for a short time, because as I kill enemies I start to build up my souls or runes again, and then I’m back in the same situation of not wanting to lose them.

I think that’s the main reason why I haven’t finished Elden Ring despite getting so close to the end. That overly careful playstyle is not very fun, but I can’t get over that fear of losing my runes in order to enjoy the game more.

In the same vein, Satisfactory and Dyson Sphere Program. I love planning and optimizing and it feels great to plan it on paper then build it in the game, only to run into countless problems, distractions, and rabbit holes of things to do to achieve my goals, requiring taking countless more notes to keep track of it all. Definitely one of my favorite genres of games.

When the Steam Deck was first announced, I was so excited for it that I figured it was as good a time as any to switch to linux on my desktop, to get familiar with in in advance of the Steam Deck release. I wanted more control over my PC, and I’ve been wanting to switch to linux for ages, but it was something I kept putting off just because I knew it would be quite a time sink to learn to use it.

I was surprised with how simple linux really was. I started with Kubuntu and hopped to Garuda, to be able to use the AUR, and I’ve been in love with linux to the point where I never even boot into windows despite still having it installed. I just have never felt the need, and windows now feels so clunky and not very personalized to my preferences.