Goddamn, way to make me flashback.

There was a point in my life where I was facing homelessness, was constantly job searching but hearing nothing back, and had to count coins to make sure I could afford to eat each day. Not only that, but the closest family member, who had invited me to stay with them if things went tits up, had just died two days before in a sudden and tragic way.

And my then-bf dragged me to a bar, where he and all his friends told me to “just let it go” and “loosen up” as if the basement rock of my world hadn’t just eroded out from under me. I sure as shit couldn’t afford bar prices, and not a single one of the group offered to get me anything, leaving me stone sober while they all got shitfaced. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for an hour, and when I came back out, “bf” was getting a fucking lap dance from his friend’s fiancee.

That wasn’t even the worst part of the night. It definitely got darker before the light returned.

I’m okay now, over a decade later, in an infinitely-better place with supportive friends and partners. But man, what a journey.

You will find that if you lead with that, you’ll be perceived as negative. If you lead with all negative and no positives, you’re going scare everyone away. People who are cynical and negative are offputting. Positivity is a choice. Think about the people in your life. Are they positive or the “well ackshually” types? You may see it as a honest, but if you’re not showing your good side too, you are giving a dishonest picture. Give only as much negative as you give positive. Be honest when things come up. Trust is important.

@Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world The first paragraph here is key.

You sound very familiar to me. If my hunch is correct, then most of the above post probably doesn’t speak to you. Avoiding the overwhelming task of driving, being a quiet observer who can write better than they can speak, these aren’t matters of “eco friendliness” or “shyness” - these are aspects of yourself that have always distinguished you. I also share quirks that lead people to misunderstand the roots of my decisions.

Which is why I hope you will take note when I say, that first paragraph is solid advice that should best be heeded.

I have had to learn a lot of social skills the hard way. The amount of times I screwed up, but nobody had the guts to actually explain to me what I was doing wrong, made it so much harder to correct my mistakes. The above poster is providing that rare bit of honest feedback that can keep a person like you or me from having to learn a painful lesson the hard way.

Being positive is easier said than done, but it starts in small ways. For example, consider how conscientious you may be when writing. As long as you’re putting in the effort, it’s worth it to go back and see what can be re-phrased. Sometimes I re-read and edit my own writing over and again trying to get the tone right. (Which is much easier than controlling my tone when speaking.)

Ultimately, if you want things to get better, you’re going to have to put the work into it. I know nobody wants to hear that, but I also know that most attempts to help someone with a defeatist attitude are going to be brushed off. I simply hope that hearing from a like-mind that’s been there can help you see that it doesn’t have to be this way.

Dating someone of equal height: you can easily kiss on the lips without anyone awkwardly bending to reach

Dating someone shorter: every hug gets a bonus motor-boating

It sounds like we’re on the same page. I didn’t mention foreign influence, only monied influence, which is the same thing you’re saying.

My point was that these influences previously existed in the U.S. long before now. They didn’t materialize out of the blue. Anyone who’s been explicitly anti-fascist prior to the past decade knows that there was already an undercurrent pulling people in that direction.

I appreciate hearing your perspective, and you’re absolutely on point. One thing I know for sure is that things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

pretending that this neofascism is some kind of external infection is tantamount to covering one’s own ears.

See, I think it’s mixed. You’re absolutely right that people voted for this. At the same time, years of propaganda by monied interests have led us up to this point. Authoritarianism has been low-key popular at least since the 90s (maybe earlier, but the 90s was when I started school, and learned by experience that fascism is how the school system operates.) People are scared to rock the boat against their “leaders,” and given enough time, this is the result.

I wish I had time right now to write more about this, because there is some deep psychological manipulation that’s embedded in the fabric of this country. It doesn’t excuse people’s behaviors, but knowing how and why they operate is crucial to understanding the big picture.

It’s always a pleasure to come across a hoopy frood who knows where their towel is.

My workplace (which isn’t a preschool, but has preschoolers) floated the idea of doing a “trunk or treat.” But my manager nixed it with the explanation that it was “cringey.”

I don’t agree with her on much, but I agree with her on that. Instead we decorated the doors in the center and had the kids practice trick-or-treating the proper way.

So instead of just making an appointment for say October 30, you have to wait until October 23rd, call in, try to get set up for the following week (if available) and then you get a confirmed date. Also, if you miss an appointment and don’t make a new one within a week they will discharge after another 7 days.

Holy crap, that’s downright sadistic. That’s like putting the physical rehab center on the top floor of a multistory building that only has stairs.

Changing insurance and moving locations means I haven’t got a PCP either. That’s another chain of phone calls I still have to do. 😐

I began and gave up this process several times in the past few months. Ngl, I was close to crying at a few points during this phone chain. But you know what spurred me this time? Thinking about how much money I pay for health insurance, knowing that some company was raking money off my every paycheck regardless of if I got care or not. That resentment gave me the push to keep dialing.

“However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?”

You’re friend wasn’t the first to make such a mistake. There’s a poem from 1841 by Robert Browning, called Pippa Passes, in which he misunderstands the meaning of the word “twat.” Apparently he thought it was the name for part of a nun’s outfit.

But at night, brother howlet, over the woods,
Toll the world to thy chantry;
Sing to the bats’ sleek sisterhoods
Full complines with gallantry:
Then, owls and bats,
Cowls and twats,
Monks and nuns, in a cloister’s moods,
Adjourn to the oak-stump pantry!