• 1 Post
  • 66 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 30th, 2023

help-circle
  • Now that the election is out of the way, maybe I can continue talking about this. I held my tongue during the past months, but I think now is a good time to think about this result.

    While the result is unfortunate and disappointing, there are sides to it that aren’t all that bad. They pushed towards the right, pandering, and now the voters told them that this isn’t a winning strategy. I think it helps setting them straight for the future.

    I think you put it very aptly. Of course it would’ve been best if Harris had won, but at least now we can think about it from a neutral perspective: Had she won despite all the right-pandering and genocide-enabling stances, it would either send the message that pandering to the right works, and the progressives are, indeed, either too small a group to listen to in the future too, or too much of pussies to listen to in the future, too — they’ll toe the line no matter what kind of shitty positions you take.

    At least now they know that a change is needed. It’s almost unthinkable to lose to such a weird fascist populist that barely behaves cohesively. They did, by ignoring the progressives. That means something. At least it ought to.

    Things don’t often change unless things hurt. If doing shitty things keeps working, nothing changes. But when things hurt, it opens some eyes at least. Forces re-evaluation on everyone’s part.

    But that being said, this fucking sucks. Despite all the reasoning we can do to make it feel a bit better, this really should not have happened.


  • Anecdotal, and not a woman personally, but I’ve had a similar experience from days long gone; ultimately we ended up trying out different toys and the sucking sort of vibrator with lower settings was what got her past the “block”, but it was via masturbation. We’d only move it to our together time after she got comfortable with the sensation and desensitized, as she described it. In our part of the world the main brand name for this kind of toy was “satisfyer”, not sure if that is global though.

    After a while it all just clicked and it became something more familiar to me too, with fingers and tongue (though she did still prefer sucking over licking, which for me as a young man back then was new, but very much a priceless enlightenment and a much appreciated skill I later had time to hone more) ultimately joining in and it all becoming something more familiar to my less experienced younger self.

    What I’ve learnt since though, is that everyone is so wildly different, that just simply masturbating together, or learning to, if the other party/parties aren’t experienced there, has been key to lasting mutual satisfaction. And people and their needs/wants change over time, that’s also important to keep in mind. And masturbation is the thing that naturally reflects that. Just talk, talk, talk, and then experiment. Try and keep an open mind, and try to be accommodating. Change and new things take time. Try your best not to get frustrated or load too much expectations into the process. And try and understand the other party/parties are the ones having a harder time coming to terms with the fact that they could not meet your initial expectations. They have a lot of pressure due to this, though it’ll ultimately be mutually beneficial.

    Also I’ve noted that it’s so easy to fall prey to thinking that you’re the one giving or somehow “improving” their life here, but this is, in fact, your need that needs to get satisfied. You want her to feel things she does not currently. It’s not a bad thing, this is how life is when you share it with someone, but do not think you are being the giving party here. This is your need, which she either chooses to accommodate and figure out together, or not. And you might best start accepting that this experiment might not lead anywhere, and that you might have to change your expectations accordingly.


  • As a young(er), morbidly curious and then still fairly naive dumbass, I went and clicked on some questionable link on a Reddit thread, and was introduced to something known as “Funky Town”.

    That shit set me straight pretty well, been avoiding everything even remotely suspiciously feeling it might be or explicitly is gore-related, but the imagery alone still haunts me to this day, not to mention all the other stuff like imagining how any of the people involved must feel, both emotionally and physically.

    I debated mentioning this by name for a fair bit, but I think this thread is specifically for this kind of thing, so I’ll leave it. Anyone clicking here is expecting horrifying things, so it won’t catch anyone off guard. But I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOBODY GOES LOOKING FOR THIS SPECIFIC THING. You will not get it out from behind your eyes. Seriously.


  • As far as I’m aware, most of the “dangerous” lua api (io/network etc) is blocked and only available to mods during the startup phase, and not otherwise during runtime.

    But I’m sure there are workarounds. For one, I’ve written mods with rust for it, and you can require and then call any dynamic library through lua, with all of the io and networking you’d want, as long as it is brought in during the init phase. And the mods that do access the “dangerous” api, have to be explicitly given rights to do so (but again, by the server, not the clients) in the config before it works.

    It’s not that bad for the most cases, as long as you trust the server. If playing single player, you personally control which mods get the secure environment access, so at that point it’s entirely your own fault, if you get exploited.







  • The way I understand the word, it’s more of a “fling”, or a short-term relation, as opposed to something long-lasting or structured. Which, for example, can be fully okay and include no shadiness if it’s communicated with the partner or partners.

    I guess words change meaning over time, and since the default has been monogamy for so long, the word is still stigmatized and associated with cheating since it means something short?

    As an example, single people can often be heard to have had vacation affairs, which wouldn’t imply cheating since they are single. But the word is used in that context too.



  • Yours is a somewhat more cynical way of writing it down, but the underlying mindset is one I share.

    I prefer to see it as not expecting anything from anyone, rather than expecting them to disappoint you. It’s basically the same, but doesn’t feel as cynical.

    It truly changes your life though, no matter how you see it. I can’t remember myself having been, in real life, angry or disappointed in people in great many years. Life is just so much better without those feelings, which seems obvious, but you can’t really emphasis that enough still.

    It took me years of self-reflecting and “finding myself” in the process of overcoming a years-long bout of clinical depression. It’s not easy, but I do believe everyone can find that mindset, given enough effort and perseverance. Sisu.



  • orgrinrt@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml*Permanently Deleted*
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    5 months ago

    Ah, now it makes sense. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you before, with a post about how can one plan to live alone for the rest of their life, or something to that effect, and it was exactly like this.

    Seriously, I think you should not only consider, but also just straight out start therapy. And you should start it pronto. I’m sure Italy has a more or less accommodating welfare system that makes this possible. Takes jumping through a few loops likely, but my man, you seem miserable and it makes me sad to see anyone live with a mind like this. Life could, and should, be as tolerable as possible, if not even nice. I realize you are in a mental state where this sounds unrealistic or just out right hopeless dreaming, but I’m telling you, if you are in a western Europe country and have access to internet and basic utilities, you already have all it takes to make you happy. The rest of it is just improving mental health and attitude.

    Best of luck, though I expect you won’t even consider any of this and will just continue taking the easy road of ignorance and giving up. And that’s fine, it’s your prerogative. But I truly hope you find some help and people around you to get you through this rut.



  • The latter is actually a good point. I had almost forgotten how constant and combative reddit was at times with the far-right peeps and incels and whatnot. At the time it had become so normal, one didn’t even think about it. Maybe offer alternative ideas (= argue) a while or just ignore, but now that you mention it, I don’t think there has been many situations like that here, for me at least. Not to say that the enlightened centrists aren’t very much the same in practice, and those I face here every now and then. They just aren’t nearly as bad in substance.



  • Are they decent? Or complete, as in it has the entire main story at least in? I’d be very interested. Played fo1 halfway through when I was playing a lot of the infinity engine classics some years ago, it was great, but a lot of fairly simple QoL stuff was needed for me to finish it. I’m now playing the fo3 and new Vegas in the TTW mod (with the Begin Again modlist) and it has been great with all the QoL stuff baked in. Never played fallouts other than the first before now, kind of amazed it took me so long to give the threes a go, seeing as I’ve had them in my steam library for ages…