(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

  • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    This is an excellent analysis of the reasoning that led into this. Thank you for sharing.

    Plenty of people are dismissing this as “ragebait,” which, sure. But like, what on earth is more rage-worthy than systemic rape culture and silencing of women?

    There is definitely a time and place for tone policing. But that’s never the exact minute a woman expresses her lived experience in a way that actually grabs attention. ❤️

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      6 months ago

      which, sure. But like, what on earth is more rage-worthy than systemic rape culture and silencing of women?

      idk probably the fact that instead of talking about that fact, we were sat there yelling at each other about bears in a hypothetical forest?

      Like don’t get me wrong i like talking about issues, but there’s a point where you just have to sit back and wonder what the fuck you’re doing with your life. This was one of them.

      • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        6 months ago

        This entire post is about women who were talking about rape culture getting harrased into deleting their accounts.

        The problem I care about is barely the hypothetical forest at this point in time, but the abject abuse. I encourage you to take the same perspective.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          6 months ago

          yeah, i could see that being a problem, i didn’t experience that, nor perpetrate that. Unless being mad at someone on the internet entails that, in which case, i think that’s less of a me problem. Because this is the internet.

          I didn’t DM people or anything though, just yelled about shit in the comments. I think part of the problem was that we even started talking about the bear problem at all. I’m not really sure how anybody expected it to go? I’m not sure how i would’ve expected it to go, but i’m not sure i would’ve posted it either to be honest.