Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.
I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.
What the OP is saying is “do you really care” or are you feigning interest because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? That’s what “just being nice” means.
Yes, I get that, but it seems like for some people, possibly OP included, the socially acceptable thing to do is just an empty ritual, without meaning or purpose. That’s difficult for me to grasp, because it’s not meaningless empty ritual.
And also it’s the either/or aspect of it that I don’t like. When my Neighbor Lady starts talking to me about quilting, I really have no interest in quilting, but Neighbor Lady is important to me, I like her and I want to maintain a relationship with her. I don’t feign intrest in quilting, but because I care about Neighbor Lady i do want to hear what she has to say. So it’s not a binary thing like deep fascination with quilting / just being polite but not actually giving a shit.
I suppose I could have used less words to express that in my first post.