The framing of this question is interesting. “…or are you just being nice?” Seems to assume that being nice is not a legitimate or authentic way of being, maybe unless it is a means of getting something you want.

A psychiatrist once told me “If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that people really do think differently from each other.” I can accept this as true but it really boggles my mind sometimes when I think I have caught a glimpse of someone’s fundamental assumptions that are so different from mine.

I have met a few people who have said things like “I don’t have time for small talk or chitchat, it is meaningless noise to me.” I thought to myself “OK, you’re not getting invited to my bar-b-que then.” Which was probably fine with them. Still, it’s hard for me to imagine having that mindset. Maybe when I was a teen it might have been said of me that I was self-absorbed and didn’t care about anyone else, but I certainly did care, more than I was able to express.

I occasionally encounter people -some way past their teen years- who have no interest in any of the things that I am into, but want to endlessly info-dump to me about My Little Pony or whatever their special interest is. I listen, not because I am particularly interested in My Little Pony, and not because I am “just being nice.” There is another reason, and I don’t think of it as transactional or “playing a social game.”

If there is any point to my rambling it is that I find the either/or thinking of the question reductionist and over simplified. I think this is one of the aspects of autism that makes it a disorder or disability for some people, because the very rigid black and white thinking can create a lot of frustration when reality doesn’t conform to their internal strict rules.

Beach.

Ha! A dumb mistake, I deserved that.

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I had to marry my wife because all my life I had been looking for someone to jam with. I have met some great musicians, many people far more talented than I am, but it was always hard to find someone who I could instantly and easily connect that flow with and rock out together.

When I met my wife and I heard her strum and sing for the first time I knew she was special. I don’t know how to describe it but our musics can connect in a very easy and pleasing way. She has many other excellent qualities, and in addition she’s hot, but that musical connection is the one essential thing that brought us together. I feel so connected to her, she is my best friend forever and it all started from sharing musical joy together.

I keep it on new.

Me, I’d put them in general waste. I might wrap them or put them in a sturdy paper bag if I had any, and put that in a plastic bag to contain the evil.