I figured a close stereotype for men, would be that they should all be farmers. The thing is, there are under two million farmers in the US as of 2023. So statistically, an equivalent occupation/role should have a larger number.
Men shouldn’t be allowed near children that aren’t their own. It’s rarely stated but regularly assumed.
This one fucking sucks… it’s especially awful for us beard havers.
I think it is more of the mustache only crowd that really faces a stigma about being good with kids.
My daughter is a very different skin colour than me. Somehow the worst I’ve encountered to date is an uppity mother who thought I was telling off a random child.
I think you were implying something different, but I feel like I get a ton of odd comments suggesting it’s weird for me to be out with my own kid. Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.
I had friends complain about this kind of thing before I had kids and I thought that they were exaggerating. Nope, it’s all over the place. It’s certainly not everyone, but it is much more common than I expected.
Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.
I always hated the “are you babysitting?”
Like NO! These are my fucking kids, I don’t babysit them, I’m parenting
I’m 33 and never seen this IRL. Weird. Only heard people mention it online. Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.
Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.
By all means, take your own experience into account but don’t fall for this fallacy…
By you own logic, murder must be a myth because it hasn’t happened to you
It’s likely a cultural thing. I’ve noticed it in urban Canada, myself.
A man smiling at a child who looks at him will get glares or weird looks from the parent. A woman smiling at a child who looks at her will be nothing out of the ordinary. The same man is “allowed” to smile at children if he’s with a woman and/or a kid of his own.
Before I had a kid, I heard this was a thing, but didn’t really care as I didn’t really have a desire to be around kids. Once I became a father, I realized a lot of people make strange assumptions about men around small humans. Its certainly not most people, but definitely some, and definitely not just online.
“Women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” transcribes to “Men should be shirtless and mentally ill in the garage.”
As a millennial, if I could afford a house, I PROMISE you I wouldn’t also be able to afford mental health treatments, or a shirt.
So this tracks…if I could get a house.
I’m a Millenial with a house, but no garage. So, I’m shirtless and mentally ill under the carport.
You are going to be the best uncle that nobody trusts their kid with after what happened last time they had you watch their house. You have an important role in the community, selling illegal fireworks to bored teens.
Honestly, if you’re a millenial in this economy something is wrong with you if you aren’t at least a little crazy.
The stress is fucking unreal.
Clearly you just need to be a man and work harder and more hours, at the expense of your mental health, to be a better provider because that is your only value to your family. The more emotionally shut-off and weekday war-torn you are, the better the space in which you can escape work and home stress by self-isolating and self-medicating with alcohol. Your chosen man-cave is totally not a place to hide your emotional breakdowns where you silently sob as you suffer the masculine burdens of building stress and feelings of inadequacy alone. Just remember, communicating your feelings is what women do; men dig their grave faster and deeper because that takes manly strength.
…with the exception of having a family vs living alone, you just described what my life would be life without medical issues. I mean,it’s still mostly what you said. You just left out the part about not affording to be able to pay medical bills too.
You made the classic weak feminine male mistake of going to the doctor. A real man never goes to the doctor because you are fine and you just need to be strong and it will go away because it is just a benign affliction. You can’t burden your family with worry or medical debt if you don’t go to the doctor, that’s just science. Weak men are worried about their health before it is too late, strong men fight treatable or curable undiagnosed illnesses until it kills them like a man. Just remember, a real man gets diagnosed before retirement by a coroner.
Retirement??? No. My generation doesn’t get that.
That’s the neat part, death is the retirement.
Honestly, us millenials not having houses is probably a huge win for climate change… if I had the space to setup up a forge and learn metalworking I don’t think I’d be able to resist. “But I can do it in minecraft…”
Oh my god. We’re going to have a story soon where a bunch of 35 year olds buy a vacant plot of land, and then dig downwards. Then they’ll disrupt some plumbing, or cables run underground, or gas pipes. SOMETHING bad will be cut, and when they get questioned, they’ll say they were strip mining for diamonds.
So… wanna go in on a vacant plot of land?
Obviously!
Realistically, you only need a garage
Who said it needs to be your garage?
A “garage” means any space a man can claim as his own to self-isolate and cry quietly in. Be it a garage, basement, shed, or man-cave. As long as he can suffer silently and nobody knows, he is a strong man and every strong man needs his “garage”.
@Death_Equity did.
You might just have to move out of the city, things get way cheaper when you go rural, plus it opens you up for usda loans.
They’re for rural areas and they will put down 100% of your down payment, but your credit score has to be right and you have to find a nice house, like really nice.
The one I am about to buy was approved for a usda loan, until they found out that 1 corner of the crawlspace was technically in a 1 in a 100 year flood zone.
If that doesn’t work you can try fha, their guidelines are a little more lax, but you have to put 3.5% down.
That’s what I am using and I know that my rent for the next 30 years is fixed until my mortgage insurance falls off.
That is with no adjustment for inflation either.
So if shit spikes again, at least my rent effectively got cheaper.🤣😂😞😢
Does being mentally ill in my own room count too?
So long as you are alone, your realized value has the ability to provide for a hypothetical family, and your liver can tank a half a bottle of brown liquor a night without the spins.
Men should swallow their feelings and go break their bodies and mind for a paycheck. Then die younger because of it.
We’re looking for fake answers, not real ones.
That’s definitely still a thing. I’m too tired and sore to move today, but at least I’ve got the day off I suppose?
Protectors & providers
It’s one of the worst kind of inequality which women don’t (or rarely) ever examine and question if it’s compatible with modern ideas
I don’t know about the provider thing these days but I feel like the protector part still holds true. If you hear a person messing with your door lock in the middle of the night it’s the guys job to go check out on it. Statistically virtually every man is stronger than all women so ofcourse that’s who you send in when there’s a risk for physical altercation.
I agree and that’s still poison.
The idea that when something growling outside the cave has everybody shaking inside, it’s the guy’s job to get a pointed stick and go outside, knees knocking, heart pounding.
This is not compatible with modern life. Especially if the person scrounging around outside is a meth-addled woman, and I happen to go out in uppercut her.
That men should be able to fix things and be mechanically inclined.
Yup, I have an essential tremor and fucking hate that one. I don’t mind strength based tasks… but if I try and screw in a light bulb I’ll probably crush it accidentally… don’t even get me started on appliances like blenders and shit - in the best case scenario I’ll brick the device… but I’ll probably injur myself.
I mean no offense at all, and feel free not to answer, but how do you type?
Is it like a special keyboard, voice to text, or do I just completely misunderstand what you mean?
At the moment it comes and goes with stress, as my dad aged it became more and more common but I can usually manage to type (with a lot of autocorrect help and backspace). It also varies with hand posture and that sort of clamping grip really makes me unsteady (for this reason scrubing potatoes is actually extremely difficult for me).
It’s a neurological thing - almost certainly - so I only know what I’ve observed.
A friends son has this. It’s a little disconcerting to watch a 25 year old shaking like they have Parkinsons. He seems to rely on large muscle movements and catching things as they go by rather than steadying in on something.
Unpopular opinion: We should. Obviously as someone who builds and fixes things for living I’m a little biased but I do look down on men that lack any handyman skills (and so do many women). I think doing things like being able to change a tire on a car is about the bare minimum a man should know how to do. I’ll cut you some slack if you don’t own a car or a licence.
Why a man though - why not just a person?
What is it that means that men ought to be able to do those things, but not women?
All my best workers in shop and on site have been women, hands down. No egos; they listen and learn super-fast; they take great pride in acccomplishment and quality; they don’t tell me how their dad did it or that they’ve “just always done it this way”.
Cause in thier minds why is she not in the kitchen pertpually doing chores. Women aren’t people to them. Took so much effort just to give women the right to vote.
Because in general men are good with things and women are good with people. There’s a good reason the vast majority of construction workers, mechanics and engineers are men and it’s not (only) because women aren’t welcome on those fields.
I think that’s a massive over-generalisation to be honest. Women are just as capable at any of those things.
I’m not sure why you would want to look down on people who don’t know how to do a thing, but at least do it equally.
Ofcourse it’s a generalization. I’m speaking of all men and women as groups. This isn’t about individuals.
If you pick random 100 men and random 100 women from the population and give them the task of building/fixing something the men are going to perform better every single time.
Because in general men are good with things and women are good with people.
Dude, you’ve been thoroughly brainwashed
There’s a good reason the vast majority of construction workers, mechanics and engineers are men and it’s not (only) because women aren’t welcome on those fields
…and you double down
Check out the actual statistics on what women and men choose an occupations when both people-related and non-people-related jobs are otherwise equal. There’s quite a bit of evidence that men and women tend to prefer occupations in one or the other category.
Honestly, looking at how different men and women are physically, it is slightly absurd to assume that they are identical psychologically (i.e. have the exact same preference regarding people-oriented vs. technical occupations).
No, you’ve been brainwashed.
This is how productive your reply was. Are you going to elaborate or you here just to throw shit? Just telling someone they’re wrong isn’t exactly going to make them change their mind about it. Counter the argument - not the person saying it.
I don’t care if you change your mind… You are likely too far gone to think anything but man=labour, women=feels
And you think there’s no biological difference between the sexes. Got it.
Yeah I think men and women should all have some basic level of repair skills. I feel like somewhere along the line everyone got too afraid to break things or hurt themselves.
I’m a little biased but I do look down on men that lack any handyman skills
That is a lot biased to the point that you can’t even see that other men’s lives may have put them in a position of not learning those things or even wanting to learn those things. It’s great that you know how to do those things but just because someone has a penis doesn’t mean they have to learn how to be handy. That doesn’t make them any less of a man, just different from you.
Men should all be (the sole) breadwinners.
Men should be climbing the corporate ladder
Aside… as a technical expert, can I just mention that the fact that we envision it as a “corporate ladder” is the biggest fucking load of bullshit?
I can confidently state that I’m much more competent than my fucking CEO.
It’s more like a pyramid
no, its not a pyramid!! its called multi-level companies!!
It’s more like a puddle - my point is that hierarchies are bullshit.
Sounds like a scheme
In my area it would be something like “Men should go to war”.
Men bring home enough bacon for the whole household to live off comfortably.
And go off to die in wars.
I think I’d just get tired of bacon.
That’s like getting tired of having sex.
I see you’ve met my ex wife.
Heresy
Doing manual labor in general, not just farming. Or being in charge at work
That every man has to be a breadearner, a handyman and be able to physically defend their home&family.
Anecdotal, being from Louisiana, this is what I’ve been pressured with my entire life.
Men should be the breadwinners, men should be the one to ask the woman out, men should pay for the first date, men have to be the ones who propose, men should be 6 feet tall… It sucks especially if you’re an introvert, shy, and nobody ever explained this shit to you as a teenager. Therapy ftw.
Men not being allowed to be emotionally expressive has led to so many mental health problems…
Have to be a raging bull of testosterone and manly interests while also being a round the clock worker to be a breadwinner and also being a father figure to any children in your life on demand
The most direct I can think of is that men should be the sole breadwinner of their family, and that if his wife earns more than him (or even has a job at all) then that’s some kind of failing on his part.
There are many other similar stereotypes. For example:
That men have an obligation to defend their/their significant other’s ‘honor’ with violence.
That men shouldn’t cry or otherwise show strong emotion under nearly any circumstance.
Men shouldn’t want to interact with children, especially other people’s kids.
I can go on all day.
This last one rarely gets mentioned, but it is very real
Kids are passionate, curious, and energetic. There’s a lot we as adults may learn from them, and playing with them brings me a lot of joy and also reminds me of simple and magical times of my own childhood.
Doesn’t mean I’m a child predator or something.
Somehow society created an expectation that men do not care for children, and then the same society wonders why there are so little genuinely attentive and great dads. Like, make up your mind.
