Turns out every game sounds bad if you purposefully describe it badly.
I mean, this is the essence of 95% of GTA missions. Just like 95% of RPG missions are a variation of clear dungeon, kill boss, retrieve item.
Platformers are just running and jumping towards the right and repeating.
Old school ones. Anything half modern lets you go left as well.
But the goal is always to the right (counting metroidvanias as their own genre)
super metroid final boss is left
Super Mario’s boss is right.
Both sides are equally bad.
Not really. Super Meat Boy is a platformer and definitely isn’t always to the right.
Same thing with i want to be that guy
🤯
“clear dungeons, kill boss, retrieve item” is just “go from a to b, kill x at b, go from b to c”
The key is making the dungeon/boss fun. The quests are just to lead you through the content.
If you don’t like fighting through dungeons and fighting bosses then the game may not be for you.
Like with GTA getting to places needs to be enjoyable.
And taking out 99% of the rest of the game built around the basic skeleton structure makes it sound bleak and boring.
Start game
Make number go up
Become better at making number go up
Make number go up moreSomehow almost every game ever made
Hmm, reminds me of Hollywood hackers.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
This is every game for the people that skip dialog and cutscenes.
Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren’t shooting a gun or stuff isn’t exploding. I don’t get that TV show, nothing had any context and there was no motivation or lessons to learn, stuff just randomly exploded from being shot at.
Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren’t shooting a gun or stuff isn’t exploding
The Office would be pretty short
Even the most shooty->explodey TV show there is would be pretty short if you skipped all the good parts.
Independence Day.
The Office is just people in an office doing stuff. Never understood the appeal /s
Its a game, not a movie
So play space invaders if you’re fully uninterested in the interactive story.
GTA is not the last of us, its selling point is not its story
85% of my time in GTA is spent driving like a jackass for fun.
Username reminds me of a Bash.org quote:
#265532 + (6778) - [X]
SABDO: on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
SABDO: and it typed out “France”
SABDO: we were like, wtf?
Edit: I think I commented on the incorrect comment. Oh well.
So glad Bash.org got archived!
There’s an archive?! My life just got a lot better.
Just learned that safety standards in Star Wars suck and almost every mc falls down a hole at least once.
Pretty sure Minecraft was the most profitable game of all time.
And you can be that reductive for pretty much all games. Run right and jump on mushrooms. Watch shapes rotate and fall. Punch cubes. Three of the other most profitable games of all time.
CoD as a FRANCHISE beats them both, but you have to keep in mind that metric for GTA V and Minecraft are indeed, for single video games.
That’s true (to be even more precise, the GTA metric is also for the franchise…which GTAV makes up $8.5 billion of >.>). How about Candy Crush at $20 billion?
“This game named after a crime involving cars involves too much driving and crime”
start game
go from A to B
press button/scan object
go from B to C
solve 3rd grade puzzle
go from C to D
scan object and defend while npc does things
optionally sneak from D to E
repeat until the game is over
And the best part is, I’m sure nobody even knows what game I’m talking about, but they think they might have it narrowed to 3 or 4.
Some of my favorite games on the planet are literally “wander around opening doors” and “go to a place to solve simple puzzles, press some buttons, and don’t die”
It’s literally every game. The only thing being omitted is the how and why adding flavor and context to going from A to B.
I’ll be annoying and say it’s been ages since I last played a game like this, and it’s not because I don’t game
Like Tetris or one of those Eye Spy games? Games where you go nowhere, or do nothing? Guarantee, you’re still moving something from A to B. Even if it’s just the mouse cursor.
Moving, sure, but not solving 3rd grade puzzles or defending NPCs
It’s Tetris, right? It’s gotta be Tetris.
ME Andromeda?
live in point A
something calls someone away to point B
in order to change it back they have to sacrifice something important
return to point A
they are changed as well
and the best part nobody even knows which story I’m talking about
Every story boils down to a hero’s journey.
watch dogs comes to mind first, just because of the 3rd grade puzzle part
Star Trek Online is what comes to mind immediately for me
I was gonna say it couldn’t be Hunt Showdown, but it actually fits pretty well, minus the friendly NPC. Start game, collect clues, fight the boss, wait for the banish and try to defend, then take the boss token to the extract, all while trying not to die from enemy players. Of course the enemy players make it exciting, and I guess that’s why I’m not that into single player games.
How else can you create a good player experience while not alienating casual players though?
Minesweeper? Spider solaitre?
At least Vice City had fun missions like dropping bombs in trashcans with the world’s most fickle RC helicopters
“fun”… yeah, not exactly a word I’d use to describe that mission.
Not sure if they fixed it in the PC port, but I enjoyed it when I played it last. I think I failed the mission only once, if at all?
I imagine they reduced the number of enemies or their aggro range, or raised the timer by a ton
That’s San Andreas. I loved all their missions and even though they also could be reduced to only, driving, flying and shooting they all felt distinct and memorable.
Invading Madd Dogg’s mansion and stealing lyric book and delivering it back OG Loc who had a party in your hood was fun. Stealing jetpack for a hippy, burying alive someone in construction site while they are in portable toilet, doing heists with Catalina, all that was fun.
I can’t seem to recall a single GTA 4 or 5 mission / moment truly memorable besides the line “Causin, let’s go bowling”. Maybe it’s all related to when I played SA and probably my memory was better then.
Your memory may indeed be a bit flaky, because that mission (demolition man) is quite definitely from Vice City :)
I agree with the sentiment of your post though
Thought you meant New Model Army mission which also feature RC heli, bombs and barrels :)
I remember not knowing how to activate magnet and thinking that mission is impossible.
I suckered at that mission.
Yet went great flying helicopters later.
Would try again
L take. GTA5 is a solid game. Never cared for online tho
You’ve just described nearly all action, adventure, and shooter games.
You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.
Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That’s why it’s number 1. It’s also why you’re murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it’s a titty bar.
I don’t understand why anyone would want to travel between point A and B and point B and A. Can’t they just make up their mind about where they want to be?
I just want to live at point D and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E
Hate to say it, but it’s because it’s fun. I haven’t played in ages but despite it not being my kind of game (I’m usually a fallout kind of guy), I really loved playing through it. I enjoyed it enough that when the next one comes out, I’ll likely finally buy a current gen console.
So instead you like going on a mission, getting distracted and killing a bunch of people/ghouls/irradiated creatures and managing inventory ( I do too).
Yep! Something’s obviously wrong with me :)
Duck Hunt?
Sir the rest of us were ignoring the mission trying to see how many cops could chase us at once and also how many of them we could murder when we let them catch up. Then they went online with it and people started wearing the game like a suit.
That may explain things.
Facts. Boring as fuck
